Hunter's Lament
by SCE2AUX
Summary: With a spell book acquired at a used bookstore, two gifted law students take a break from studying US law with the intention of violating natural law. Not necessarily a tenth or eleventh walker. Rated M for mild adult content and possible violence
1. Chapter 1

They had been tormenting each other with obscure legal trivia for the past ninety minutes. The tall blonde girl was Denise Reynolds, twenty-three, optimistic and vivacious, yet with an odd mystic streak. Her roommate and best friend was the twenty-two year old Katie Sarkissian. Small, dark and pretty, she wore her coal-black hair cut short.

Both were in the fall of their second year at Cornell Law School. Denise was the more traditional, graduating with honors from Ohio State, then heading right over to Ithaca. Katie, on the other hand, already had some real work experience. She had graduated a year and a half early from Georgetown and pinned on the gold bars of an Air Force second lieutenant just before she turned twenty.

After training, followed by a year in Afghanistan as a public relations officer, she was accepted at Cornell Law, and was allowed to pursue this course to join the Judge Advocate General. She was making good money, but was relieved to have a roommate.

Both girls made Law Review after the arduous First Year Of Law School. Mostly what they did now was just checking citations. It was necessary work, and virtually guaranteed Denise a huge salary upon graduation. Katie of course would be paid at the standard rate of an Air Force captain.

And in the Air Force, you're a captain forever, it seems. "I shoulda joined the Navy," she had thought to herself. But, truth be told, she never cared all that much for salt spray.

"Let's take a break, eh Denise?"

Denise didn't need to be asked twice. She smiled, then got up and went to her book bag and withdrew an extremely weathered leather volume. "I just picked this up yesterday, Kat. Wanna do some spell casting?"

Katie snorted, laughing. "What?"

"Yeah, that's what I said. But anyway, I picked up this little beauty over in Autumn Leaves occult section. It's just for fun." Her face went suddenly somber. "Now tell me Kathryn…would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf?"

"Hmmm." Katie peered at the ceiling as if in deep contemplation. "Hmmm, now being a vampire does have its advantages, doesn't it? Super strength, an epic level of coolness." She looked outside and saw the round moon just rising above the elm trees. "But practically speaking, the Air Force would never put up with me sleeping during the day. I think I would go lycanthrope – if I had to make a choice." She raised a heavy eyebrow. "And why ever would you ask?"

Denise adopted a pouty expression. "Cuz I wanna _try_ one of these!"

"Oh, course you do. And let's start right off with turning ourselves into monsters. Come on, I'm sure you could think of something a little less ambitious."

"Hmphh!" But the point was taken. Denise snuggled up to their friend to find something they could try that would be easy and simple. And optimally instantaneous."

"Oh, here's one. _World Shifter – For the sliding between Realatys._"

"'Real-attys? When was is published?"

"…Ooh, no copyright date, must be olde, with an e."

"Keep going…"

The two girls skimmed through the book, slowing down to read through some of the more intricate spells.

"Oh, how about this one Denise? Hair Growth." Katie fingered her short locks.

"That would be good, but it needs to be performed on a new moon. Looks pretty full to me."

Katie grinned. "All right, let's both try the werewolf spell. Just to show that it's bogus."

Denise immediately thumbed back to the "Fulle Metamorphasis" section. "Oooooh…they call it a curse!"

Katie shrugged. "I'm game if you are, what do we do?"

The spell was a bit extravagant, all things considered, requiring a trip to Wal-Mart to pick up some flowers with white petals and a few candles. They then drove to a somewhat private wooded area.

Denise formed a six-foot pentagram with the flowers and put red and white candles at each of the points.

"You know, Katie, we have to be in the nude for this. I'll go first if you want."

"Nah, that's fine. You know the words for it better than I do." She took off her shirt and sweatpants.

"Oh my god! Katie, you're changing already!"

She rolled her eyes at that, it hurt. "Oh ha ha, but aren't we amusing," she shot back. _Stupid Armenian genes_.

Katie lay down in the circle as requested. Denise sat beside her and placing her hand over Katie's heart, she firmly intoned: "_**Luna, Luna, Leige of the wolf, I beseech thee - take the curse of the werewolf and bestow it upon Kathryn Sarkissian. At the lunar heights, she shall take the form of the beast forever more. I implore of you Luna, eternally deny Kathryn Sarkissian her humanity, howling slave of the full moon she surely ever shall be!**_"

Just a little bit melodramatic, Katie thought. And then she waited.

After at least a minute with only a bit of nervousness, Katie began to wonder if she wasn't the victim of an elaborate bet that Denise had made. "_Fifty bucks says I can get Katie flat on her back and naked in the woods." _She looked and saw that Denise's eyes were closed; her hand was still on her chest. Katie cleared her throat.

"Was it good for you?"

Denise snorted, and Katie joined in at laughing at the absurdity of it. They then switched places and repeated the ritual just for the hell of it, and were not exactly surprised or disappointed that they were just as human as when they started.

"I'm not gonna say a thing about this if you won't."

"No, _way_!"

"Could you imagine if it had worked?"

"Well if it had, we would probably both be screwed if we were lucky and dead if we weren't."

"I guess there's a reason why the conventional wisdom is not to go dicking around with this kind of thing."

They drove in silence for several minutes.

"Wanna try the alternate realities one?"

Katie thought a bit, she just loved the unabashed silliness Denise could bring to any situation. "Well not tonight…but since we're in full-blown silly mode anyway this week, how about tomorrow when we're done at Taylor?"

"Deal. Where to?"

"Ummmm. Star Wars?"

"Star Trek?"

"Too military."

"I resemble that remark. Pearl Harbor?"

"No, we might change the timeline and wind up nuking Australia. How about Blade Runner?"

"Oh, I never saw it. What about _The Paper Chase_?"

"No, I am not doing 1L again, Sarkissian! Try again."

"_The Hobbit_."

"OK, make it _Lord of the Rings_ and we're good."

"Middle Earth then?"

"Middle Earth it is!"

The great thing about making law review is that it allowed the student to miss most of their second and third year classes while still making it probable that they would get top marks in all of them.

The bad thing about making law review is that it condemned the student to at least one year of some of the driest and most meticulous drudgery in academia. For most of Monday, Denise and Katie poured over three articles submitted by law professors and checked every single citation and minute detail for accuracy and that it was, in fact, based on actual research.

It's what every ambitious first year law student aspires to.

At last, the eighteenth hour of the day came to pass, and the two friends bolted off towards the apartment.

"Who's got dinner tonight?"

"After a day like today," asked Katie, "definitely Burger King. A massive hunk of burned beef with lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, and large French fries on the side. And a diet Coke. I have to watch my weight."

As they ate in the apartment, while stealing each other's French fries, Katie asked what the upcoming spell would involve.

"It's not as involved as what we tried to do last night…well, let's just do it now." Denise got up and brought out some fat chunks of chalk.

"We just draw a chalk circle…it doesn't matter how big it is, just large enough for the two of us to fit in…" Denise drew a circle about five feet wide, then brought the spell book out. "Go and bring one of the white candles we bought last night, and the lighter." Katie did as she was asked.

"All right, we have everything we need. The tricky part here is getting the image of where we want in our mind. Where do we want to go in Middle Earth and when do we want to go there?"

Katie thought a moment. "If I was going to Middle Earth, I would think I would want to go somewhere that is at least reasonably safe. For the time being anyway – I wouldn't be adverse to seeing a _little _bit of action, but I would want to get my bearings sorted out."

"Good thinking," answered Denise. "Safe now but with impending peril?"

"Right."

"Ok, let's go to the Shire. We're going to imagine the Shire, let's say Bywater, just before Frodo and Sam leave."

"Is this one of those deals where we have to both perfectly picture the place we're going simultaneously?"

Denise shook her head. "As long as we know the name, the spell 'knows' what we're referring to."

Katie smirked, knowing all to well what happens when people don't ask the question. "And just so we aren't stranded, _**how do we get back?**_"

"Good question. We just need to be in the same place that we were twenty-four hours after we arrive. And it resets every day, so if we miss one, we can just try again a day later." Denise showed Katie the relevant text. It was as she said. Katie was perfectly aware that it was not going to work, but there was nothing wrong with a bit of roleplay, especially considering the nine hours of utter tedium up with which she had to put.

"Cool. Let's do it then."

Katie turned out all the lights as Denise lit the candles, then joined her in the circle.

Denise took Katie's hand and held up the candle in the other. "Pardon me if it sounds a bit windy, but I'd been going over it in my mind. You ready?" Katie nodded.

"_**Take us from our Ithaca, in the noble Empire State.**_

_**Bring us forth to Tolkien's land, so we may see it's fate.**_

_**To Middle-Earth, the living Shire, to Bywater-Hobbiton.**_

_**In heaven's name, please usher forth, Denise Reynolds and Kathryn Sarkissian…"**_

Denise extinguished the candle and the room went dark.

…."Hmmm. Not a bad bit of prose there, Denise." Katie stretched out and set her hands on the soft grass behind her.

Soft grass?

"Oh shit."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note – The Lord of the Rings is MINE I tells ya, ALL MINE, MUAH-HAHAHAHA!

OK….no. Sorry. I can't back that up. Just Katie and Denise are – as well as any OCs…obviously. That said, enjoy. Read and review, as you so desire.

* * *

She was definitely no longer sitting upon the occasionally polished wood floor that she was used to. This was grass all right, she thought as she squeezed it tightly, grass soft and cool.

Something like a mist seemed to lift from her eyes, and Katie could see more clearly. Denise looked at her, mouth open, and then squeezed her eyes tightly shut, then opened them and blinked several times.

"Holy crap," Denise breathed. She could hear music, Irish or Scottish, some kind of folk music playing close by.

Katie then became aware of light emanating from behind her. She turned to her left and saw what appeared to be the edge of a roof just sticking out from the ground about three inches. Indeed, the roof continued up about three feet before dropping away. She continued to turn her head and realized that they were at the top of a tiny hill, but there were paving stones at the foot of it. Looking back around she could see the bright moon shining onto water on the other side of the hill. A lake, no, a river, she decided.

"Are you all right," whispered both at the same time.

"Yeah."

"Fine."

"Good," said Denise. "Did you think it would work?"

"Not a bit. Did you?"

"Never in a million years…but…well…_shit…_I'm guessing, just as a starting point that we're somewhere around Hobbiton-Bywater, that's what I asked for, right?" She stood up and gazed towards the water. I think that water is what the locals call, _**THE**_ Water, the water, and don't get all Lou Costello on me."

"Gotcha, the water I see is called The Water. Got it." Denise walked over to the roof, "This architecture looks pretty hobbitty to me." She took Katie by the hands and lifted her up – and then hugged her tightly. "We did it! We actually fuckin' did it!"

"But where are we exactly? You know, just so we know where to be twenty-four hours from now."

Denise took Katie by the hand. "I'm almost certain that it's Bywater, but let's make sure."

They took a few steps to get off the hill and into what looked to be a medieval market place, awnings had been pulled down over the stalls for the night. The only activity seemed to be from where the music had been coming from.

"Well that clinches it. We're in Bywater, Katie. _The Green Dragon_ pub." Katie had seen the movies and read bits and pieces of the books, but Denise made a point of reading the Lord of the Rings twice a year.

Just the same, Katie was well familiar with the _Dragon_.

"Let's go in!" Denise tugged urgently at her friend's sweater. Katie held back.

"Weeeeaitt a minute! Uh, we're not exactly dressed for the Third Age, now are we? Jeans and polo shirts aren't in fashion, right. And what about money?"

Denise sighed at that. "You're right. I didn't really think about what we were wearing. But we either go in or spend an uncomfortable twenty-four trying not to be seen by some of the sweetest people we could ever hope to meet." Katie opened her mouth, but Denise held up her hand.

"Now as far as the issue of money…how much do you have in cash?"

"Forty-eight dollars and twenty cents, but I don't think we'll do much with it."

"You're right. We won't. Remember how I said I was worried about deficit spending and how the US dollar was probably going to collapse before 2015?"

"Yes. Then I asked why you were spending good money on law school."

"Which I never did give a good answer for. But I wasn't entirely idle with my concerns." She pulled a small pouch from her front pocket. "These are Canadian Maple Leafs, and these little beauties are one troy ounce of gold. I got ten of them, five for me and five for you." She looked at her friend with a serious expression. "I know this is what you did for two years, but let me do the talking for now. Hobbits are a bit guarded when it comes to us 'Big Folk.'"

Katie nodded her agreement and they entered.

The air was thick with the aroma of pipeweed and conversation. Cheerful music played quietly off in the corner, but it was apparent that this was a place for drinking, snacking, and conversation. Not a flatscreen in sight.

"…so 'es sayin that there ain't no way, no how that 'e can give 'em to me at that price."

"No, I'd reckon not, not when they're going for half a gold over at Frogmorton. Even higher at Bree, if the word goin' round's to be believed. Oh, now lookee here." The little man speaking had noticed the two. Denise and Katie nodded, smiling sweetly, but continued to the bar.

"Things getting' queerer 'n queerer, now ain't they?"

Katie kept an even expression as she followed slightly behind her friend. The bar was just under three feet high, and was staffed by two hobbits, an older man and a woman that appeared to be about their age.

"Good evening." The woman's voice was apparently English, as was everyone else's, though with a variety of accents. "Welcome to the Green Dragon, and what would be your pleasure?"

"We'll start off with two half pints of ale, and do you have rooms for two?"

"Aye, we do…well just one room left. How many nights?"

"I think just one, we won't be staying long."

"Well, for just the one night, it would be fifteen silver. But I can offer you three for thirty if you're so inclined."

Denise turned to Katie, who was casually looking around and noticing that everyone seemed to be staring at them while taking pains to appear as if they were not staring at them. "What do you say? Want to stay for three nights?"

"Can we get back to where we're going in time?"

"Yeah, we'll be back right around the same time we left. The amesay ightnay."

"Sure, let's do it then."

The girl beamed at having made the upsale. "Right then, that'll be thirty-two silver, which includes the drinks."

Denise extracted one gold coin and presented it to the barmaid, crossing her fingers as she did so. The response of the barmaid did not surprise her or Katie.

"Good gracious, such a fine coin. Is it Elvish make? No, this isn't Qwenya or Sindarin at all, where did you get this?"

Oh crap, thought Katie, we should have known it would come to this. Denise, though, was quick to answer.

"Let's just say that we learned quite a bit from the elves, mellon. Obviously we are from out of town, across the sea, in fact. This coin is from the Kingdom of Canada, a friendly nation to the north of us. We are both from the land of Cornell."

The girl's eyes widened. "Oh, of course, no offence meant. Will you accept sixty-eight Shire silver in exchange?"

"That would be perfect, Miss…"

"Cotton. Rosie Cotton."

"Pleased to meet you Rosie, I am Denise Reyn; my friend is Captain Kathryn Sarkissian." She pronounced Katie's surname with the accent on the third syllable so as to make it seem a little less foreign.

"Oh!? She fights?"

Katie broke in at this. "Not as much as my friends, Miss Cotton. I am much more of a diplomat than a swordsman. And even there, my friend is much more familiar with this area than I am."

"All the same, I'm honoured to meet you both. Here are your drinks, just let me know if you want for more."

They took the halfsies and found seats. The locals were more than willing to make room for them. They took seats next to some of the older residents.

"Well now," said one of the gentlemen. "This is a pleasure. And what brings ye to Bywater?"

Denise looked around furtively. "Rumor has it that there were queer folk about. Elves. Dwarves. Others of a less savory nature if you catch my meaning."

"That might be a rumor, then it might not, guess it depends where ye heard it. Where did ye hear it?"

"Oh, come off it, Ham, you know you've been saying as much even before our boys left."

"Saradoc!"

"We don't wish to get between friends," said Katie immediately. "We'd heard from merchants that there were odd things happening in…Eriador. Since our lands haven't been exactly friendly, we thought we might take some time off and see for ourselves." That was true, wasn't it, she thought to herself?

The man sighed, nodding. "Hamfast Gamgee, then. Talkative one here is Saradoc Brandybuck. 'Fraid I didn't catch your names when you were sharing 'em with Rosie."

Denise repeated the introductions. "Well, if it's any consolation, I have to tell you that your fears may well be justified. We will need to speak to your…I believe you call him your sherriff."

"Shirriff, aye. Just your bad luck that Robin decided to stay home tonight. I'm sure he'll be happy to see you tomorrow, he's always been good to my boy, Sam."

"Thank you very much Mr. Gamgee."

"Oh never you mind the 'Mister,' everyone calls me the Gaffer, you can call me Ham if you like."

"Of course, and please call me Denise. Just make sure you call Katie, 'Captain.'"

**_thump_**

"Ow!"

"Feel free to call me Katie, Ham."

"Anyway," said Denise, rubbing the back of her head, "you were saying your son is off on a vacation himself?"

"Oh, I guess you might call it that. He left just a bit over a week ago." Denise didn't pursue the matter further, though she did buy a round of drinks for everyone. The night wore on, and the patrons dwindled."

"Well Denise, Katherine, it's been a unique pleasure, an' I hope I'll be seeing more of you." Both assured him that he would as they saw him out the door.

Rosie took the two downstairs to the guest rooms. "If you need anything, just ring."

The beds were small, but adequate, with several layers of quilts and a large pillow.

"Ohhhhhh," moaned Katie as she spread out on one. "God, that feels good!"

"Don't go to sleep just yet. Let's talk about what we're gonna do.

"'Sleep until noon' sounds about right just now.

"Maybe," she said, grabbing Katie by the big toe and dragging her legs off the bed. "But let's stop and think a bit."

"OK, OK, what's on your mind."

"Look, the old Gaffer said that his son Sam…that would be Sam Gamgee…you know, Sean Austin, left about a week ago. They left on September twenty-third. The moon was almost full, probably waning, so right now it's probably the first to third of October."

"Okay, so what are you thinking."

"What I'm thinking is that we want to protect the Shire as well we can – but we also want to get to Rivendell pretty quickly as well."

"…Wait. Hold on. First we were staying a night, then three nights, then we're traveling across the whole of Eriador? It's a bit much, don't you think?"

"We aren't gonna go to Mordor, we're just going to offer them what we know. It's _really_ not that far. Three weeks, four max, from here to Rivendell and back. Come on, Katie, it can't be worse than Bagram, right?"

Katie chuckled, despite herself, then fixed her friend with a glare that had in the past made many an experienced airman and law professor flinch.

"Fine."


	3. Chapter 3

Denise opened her mouth to argue and said, "But…wait, you said 'fine?"

Katie smiled. "If you're up to it, I am. How far is it to Rivendell, do you know?"

Denise didn't know off hand, but they agreed that they would spend the day researching and buying supplies. As she slipped under the covers, Katie did a quick mental inventory of what she had.

Not much. Just the clothes she was wearing, a ladies wristwatch, her keys, and a wallet filled with things that were at best useless to her and very possibly dangerous. And it wasn't like she could just throw away her credit and ID cards. She just had those five gold coins.

What were they worth? she wondered. They would have spent 15 silver for just one night. Assuming that the average cost for an inn was fifty dollars a night, which meant that each silver coin was worth about $3.30. A hundred silver makes a gold. $330 per gold piece.

We aren't destitute at any rate, she thought before letting sleep take her.

No sooner had she fallen asleep it seemed than she was woken up to a gentle rapping at the door. Katie shook her head and saw that Denise as well was up struggling to revive herself.

"Breakfast in on! Warm water for a bath if ye want it."

"We're coming!" Denise turned to Katie. "You can grab the bath first if you want?"

"Thanks. What time is it?" Denise shrugged. There was no sunlight filtering down, and the flickering candles only offered faint light.

They took turns bathing, and then headed back upstairs for a breakfast of eggs, toast and tea.

Denise asked Rosie Cotton "Is it normally this empty in the morning, Rosie?"

"Around this time, yes. Did you have any plans?"

"We have some ideas. What day is it exactly? The trip over was a bit disconcerting." Katie nodded her agreement

"Of course! It's Monday, September 8th."

"Third Age, 3018?" Katie rolled her eyes.

"Well…ah, 1418, Shire Reckoning. Just add sixteen hundred, yeah?"

"Rosie, how long would it take to get to Rivendell from here?"

"Rivendell!? I don't rightly know, Miss Katie. The man you were talking to last night, the Old Gaffer, his son, Sam left for Rivendell over a week ago. It's a long distance, over a hundred leagues if it's an inch.

"All right, who would we talk to about getting some horses, or ponies?"

"Oh that would be Bogo Chubb. He's on the road leading to Bywater Bridge, so just go straight back over the road leading a little northwest. You'll see him tending the stables most likely, right across the Ivy Bush.

They paid for the breakfast and left to see Mr. Chubb.

"Wow!" exclaimed Katie as they crested over the hill leading towards Hobbiton. Arriving at night, she never guessed how beautiful the Shire could be, but in the light of day, the emerald rolling hills stretched for miles, with stands of mostly broadleaf trees scattered like islands on a Kelly green sea. It was like Europe, but as if God had doubled the intensity of color.

"We have to stay longer than three days." Denise, openmouthed and silent, nodded dumbly - then grinned and patted her friend on the shoulder.

It took nearly and hour and a half to make the five miles to Hobbiton, and they were both happy for a substantial breakfast

Chubb sat by the stables, enjoying the view towards the southwest: the river called the Water, and the mill being turned by it. Tall pine trees lined the hill behind it.

"I'd heard we had some Big Folk in town, I've got just two horses in stock, so I'm afraid your choice is a bit limited." He turned to Katie. "You might be small enough for a pony if Bailey isn't the one you're looking for."

"You do rent horses though?" asked Denise.

"Oh quite. Two gold for security and five silver a day - thirty silver a week..."

"We're planning on heading to Rivendell, but we will be coming back.

"In that case, I would budget three weeks. It won't take that long if you keep them at a good canter, but mind then that they would need to rest a bit more. You have horses of your own, I take it?"

"I have a silver Mustang back home."

"A mustang? Now that's something. Have you tried breeding him?"

Katie and Denise struggled to keep a straight face. "To be honest, I haven't given it much thought," said Denise. "But now that you mention it, it would be something to see."

"It always is lass. So then, will it be the two horses for you?"

"I think so."

"That will be four gold. I'll give you this day free 'o charge, and you can settle your account when you return. If something should happen, then I guess you've bought out the last of my horses."

They each drew out two gold pieces and paid, but weren't especially anxious to leave. Bogo gave them a seated tour of what they could see.

"Now down the hill at the water, the mill belongs to Mr. Theodore Sandyman, bit of a gossip, really. Up the hill, that's Bag End."

"Home of Bilbo Baggins?" asked Katie.

"Used to be," said Bogo. "Then it was his nephew, Frodo's - who just passed it on to Lobelia Sacksville-Baggins." He shivered slightly as he said this. "How'd you know about Bilbo?"

"I overheard the name last night," said Katie. "I liked the alliteration. Tell me, Mr. Chubb, what do you know about the lands we'll be going through?"

"Myself personally? I've never been further from home than East Farthing, but from what I've heard, and this is only hearsay, once you get over the Brandywine the roads can never be completely safe. You'll want some weapons and armor with you out there. Beyond that, there's not much I can say. Most of us Shire folk stay in the Shire. Now Bilbo - maybe this is what you heard - Bilbo he got around. He went out one day, eighty some years ago and came back with pony laden with gold and whatnot. Generous to a fault with it, he was, but never really seen as respectable after that adventure he had."

Katie thought they could easily spend the day conversing with Bogo Chubb, but the girls decided that it was time to move on.

"We'd like to stick around all day, but we do have a job to do." Denise weighed her words, wondering how they would be received. "We're going to tell the Shirriff about this, and he'll act as he sees fit, but we wanted you to know just the same. This is a pretty important travel node in the Shire, isn't it?"

"I do a healthy bit of business, so I suppose so, yes."

"Bogo, in the next few months, probably starting around December or January, more people like Katie and me will be showing up. They are going to try to change the Shire, and not in a good way. Listen for men mentioning the name of 'Sharkey.'

Bogo was silent, considering her words. "And then what?"

"Pardon?"

"And what should we do about them? We don't mean to seek trouble if we can avoid it."

"I'm sure that's true. You'll make your own decisions, but just knowing that there could be trouble coming should help the Shire immensely."

Bogo looked at the two women intensely. They were Big, but they were also young, barely into their tweens if he was any judge. How could they know what the Shire would face. He sighed inwardly. They meant well, obviously, and were willing to risk being embarrassed. He nodded and smiled.

"Fine, fine then. Shirriff Robin Smallburrow is the man you'll be wanting. Course, you'll usually find him in the Ivy Bush.

"Wait…in a tavern?"

"It makes perfect sense, my dear. People go to the pub for a drink, but if they see the law there, it keeps down the rowdies. Also, a separate office might make a visit a bit intimidating. No, Robin has it planned nicely, you'll see. And for what good it does, I will follow your advice and keep tabs on you Big Folk coming through!" He laughed with them as they left, promising that they'd be back for the horses.

Shirriff Smallburrow was willing to listen, but he was a bit reticent about heeding the advice of two outsiders on Shire security.

"Do you have any credentials I might see?"

"We use a different alphabet, Shirriff," showing him the pretty gold coin as an example. He shrugged.

"I appreciate your words of warning, and you seem to have good intentions, but put yourself in my place. We hobbits are pretty paranoid as it is when it comes to outsiders, no offence. Personally, I'm glad you are here enjoying our land, but let's be honest – you have no credentials, no references. Nothing more than your two fair faces. Still, I shall pass on your words and assure you that we aren't a people to be pushed around." He bid them good day.

"What now, Dennie?" Denise rolled her eyes. "Nothing for it but to go horseback riding, eh?

Bogo greeted and then presented his customers with two horses, complete with saddles and feed bags. He raised an eyebrow when he saw Denise struggling to mount Fisher but said nothing.

Fisher and Bailey were both bay horses of five and seven years old, both fairly well-behaved, though Fisher was more on the frisky side.

"You know Kate, if we'd gone to Narnia, they would talk back to us."

"I'm freaked out enough as is. Where are we going?"

"I don't know if we can make it, but I'd at least like to try to make it to Rivendell to see the Council of Elrond. That's the twenty-fifth. Even if we don't make it though, we'll be seeing some pretty scenery."

Katie took another look around. "I'm fine with that." She motioned with her hand. "This is incredible!"

They continued towards the west. The road, the Great East Road, was all they needed to know for getting to Imladris.

"This road starts back in Lindon, and goes all the way to the Misty Mountains and on through Mirkwood. You know, from the Hobbit?"

Katie laughed, and said in a fairly decent Surrey accent "'It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out of your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no telling where you might be swept off to. Do you realize that this is the very path that goes through Mirkwood, and that if you let it, it might take you to the Lonely Mountain or even further and to worse places?' Oh yes, I know the Hobbit!"

Denise giggled, the quote was from the Lord of the Rings, not the Hobbit, and replied in her best West Country voice, which wasn't all that good. "Don't you leave him Samwise Gamgee, don't you leave him!"

Katie came back with "Could I just play one set of downs for Old Notre Dame, Mister Frodo? Just one set of downs?"

_"The road goes ever on and on..."_

_"Down from the door where it began...now far ahead the road has gone..."_

_"And I must follow if I can..."_

Fisher and Bailey whinnied softly, giving Denise a naughty idea. She massaged her horses neck and whispered: _**"Ash nazg durbatulûk, ash nazg gimbatul..."**_ She got no further than that. Fisher screamed and reared up. Denise shrieked and hit the cobblestones hard."

"WHOA!" Katie chased and caught Fisher a hundred yards later, bringing him back to Denise who was walking painfully and rubbing her backside.

"Okay," she said shakily. "I'm sorry, buddy," she apologized to the horse. "Note to Self: No Black Speech in front of the horsies."

"What, that 'One Ring to rule them all,' business."

"Yeah," said Denise. "I'm not doing that again."

As they continued towards the Brandywine, they continued singing, this time more somberly.

_'The Bearer of the ring, the wearer of the ring _

_Stands on the very brink of fate _

_Staring into eyes of darkness and despair _

_That rise and shrink with hate _

_Beware the power is a power unknown _

_Beware the power that was simple has now grown _

_Beware the bearer of the ring _

_The power has yet to be shown _

_The bearer of the ring, the wearer of the ring _

_He hears a voice compelling him _

_Filling him with thoughts that echo in his mind _

_It should be telling him _

_Beware the power, deal with power unknown _

_Beware, the power that was simple has now grown _

_Beware the bearer of the ring _

_Final power has yet to be shown _

_The bearer of the ring, the wearer of the ring _

_Beware who wears the ring!"_

As the last words of the grim song faded, Katie wondered.

"Denise, are we doing the right thing? I mean, if just the words on the ring have the effect they did on the horses."

"It's a dangerous piece of hardware. Just remember Kathryn, we're going to see those off who will destroy it. Or at least just see them and make sure they go on their quest with as much good information as we can offer them. If you had the means and ability to see your grandfather off just before Iwo Jima, wouldn't you do so?"

"Great uncle, and it was Utah Beach, and I assure you that I've already seen _**quite **_a lot of martial nastiness…but I get your point. Still, you have to wonder what kind of danger we're messing about in. We know the One Ring is dangerous and intelligent. Can it sense us, know about us?"

The sky had darkened to a dull orange; it was time to find a place for the night. Denise pondered her friend's question and answered carefully.

"That's a good, a very good question. The ring is dangerous and intelligent, and purely malignant. I've read stories, fanfiction, that mention the ring enticing Mary-Sues and better characters – so let's assume that we have to watch ourselves. If you or I say "precious," the other brings it up immediately, okay?"

Normally, such an admonition would lead to a banter of bad Serkis impressions, but the gravity was all too clear. Katie nodded and asked what town would be coming up next.

"We should be coming up on Frogmorton. Do you want to stop or keep going? Another two hours at this rate and we could be crossing the Brandywine tomorrow.

"Ugh, decisions. Well, what's the point of being here if we can't enjoy the view? Let's stop now and start early in the morning just before sunrise. 'Sides, I'm sure Fisher and Bailey would appreciate the rest, wouldn't you, darlin'?" Bailey neighed in agreement.

Frogmorton was about thirty miles west of Hobbiton. Here the Water broke into two streams, resulting in a soggy wet marsh with great fishing, mainly due to the food provided by the number of insects. Fortunately for the inhabitants, only a few of them were of the flying and biting variety, but more than one hobbit had been bitten by the occasional adder, and gnats were an ever-present nuisance. It was located beneath the Great East Road on the water, getting to it involved descending a steep grade. The girls dismounted and led the horses to the Floating Log Inn.

"It wasn't as if we could call for reservations, was it?"

"I forgive you, Katie, but you're hogging all the covers. At least you're short."

"Oi, shush you two!"

"Shhh!"

Obviously, neither of them slept well that night. Coffee was nowhere to be found, but a sympathetic Ponto Hopsbloom offered his guests a free pot of the strongest tea he could brew and an open invitation when they returned.

"Now you're going the wrong way for swords and armor in the Shire proper, but just over the river in Buckland, they do offer a wide variety. Most of it is hobbit-sized, but it should make do until you get to Bree."

The bed, there were no rooms left other than the very crowded dormitory cost them three silver. Katie wondered what their options might be if they ran out of money, they had already spent more than half their money, and buying weapons and armor would be even more of a bite. As friendly and gracious as they were, there was no mistaking the small but inherent xenophobia of the Shire people. Once they got to Bree, she promised that she would check out any employment possibilities.

Just in case.


End file.
